Bonjour est ce que quelqu'un qui comprend bien l'anglais peux me dire s'il y a des fautes dans ce que j'ai écrit svp? Today we are (going) interested in this un
Anglais
anitasimoes01
Question
Bonjour est ce que quelqu'un qui comprend bien l'anglais peux me dire s'il y a des fautes dans ce que j'ai écrit svp?
Today we are (going) interested in this underground passage called "the guillotine".
We will try to refurbish it because as you can see it is an ugly place, a bit dark, without inspiration. It is a place who needs renovation.
Every day a great deal of children pass here or with their parents(relatives) to go to the nursery school and to the primary school or alone to go to the middle school(college) either to the gymnasium.
I noticed that the majority of the middle school students are always with their phones and their earphone.
Seeing the problems of the current society bound to phones, which I find really hopeless, children do not know how to live any more without telephone I say to myself that it's time to act against this problem which affects 91 % of the young people.
So I decided to make this graffiti which shows to the young people that they are dependent of their phones and that one day all this is going to play against them.
We have to open their eyes because most of them don’t know the consequences that it can have on their minds and on their physics.That is problem of sleep, concentration …
I want to convince young people to give up their phones and communicate with each other and to watch what happens around them.And also show parents who go through there not to leave their kids all the time on their phone.
I was inspired by the British artist John Holcroft who realizes satiric illustrations to denounce(cancel) our social behavior and our dependence to the social networks.
Here is the sketch of my graffiti which I want to make on this wall: as you can see him(it) we see a girl injected by news of Facebook and of instagram. I shall have been able to drawn a boy, it is the same thing.
Today we are (going) interested in this underground passage called "the guillotine".
We will try to refurbish it because as you can see it is an ugly place, a bit dark, without inspiration. It is a place who needs renovation.
Every day a great deal of children pass here or with their parents(relatives) to go to the nursery school and to the primary school or alone to go to the middle school(college) either to the gymnasium.
I noticed that the majority of the middle school students are always with their phones and their earphone.
Seeing the problems of the current society bound to phones, which I find really hopeless, children do not know how to live any more without telephone I say to myself that it's time to act against this problem which affects 91 % of the young people.
So I decided to make this graffiti which shows to the young people that they are dependent of their phones and that one day all this is going to play against them.
We have to open their eyes because most of them don’t know the consequences that it can have on their minds and on their physics.That is problem of sleep, concentration …
I want to convince young people to give up their phones and communicate with each other and to watch what happens around them.And also show parents who go through there not to leave their kids all the time on their phone.
I was inspired by the British artist John Holcroft who realizes satiric illustrations to denounce(cancel) our social behavior and our dependence to the social networks.
Here is the sketch of my graffiti which I want to make on this wall: as you can see him(it) we see a girl injected by news of Facebook and of instagram. I shall have been able to drawn a boy, it is the same thing.
1 Réponse
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1. Réponse Celine76hyu
coucou alors écrit plutôt today we going to study the passage called.... et mets de mots tels que en effet (in fact) besides( de plus) furthermore(de plus) and more precisly, that tell us think(cela nous laisse penser que ) pour structuré ton devoir car sinon on a dû mal à suivre. Un conseil évite les phrases longues car on se perd soit simple et bien évidement utilise un vocab enrichie.
Bon courage.